My Favorite Halloween Candy Is The Candy

A Second Homeland Security Official Has Been Arrested, A 49-year-old Guy Named Frank Figueroa, He Was Caught Exposing And Fondling Himself To A Teenage Girl In A Shopping Mall In Florida. Do You Realize? If Osama Bin Laden Was A 14-year Old Girl, We Would Have Had Him By Now. ... Who Is Going To Start Protecting Us From The Department Of Homeland Security? ... It Kind Of Makes You Long For The Good Old Wholesome Days Of The Clinton Administration.

Elections Officials Here In California Are Concerned That Having 247 Candidates Would Require A Ballot So Long It Would Be Difficult To Count. Today In Florida They Said, 'what? You Count The Ballots?'

The Obama Administration Has Admitted That Under Obamacare, You Might Not Be Able To Keep Your Doctor. At First The President Guaranteed You'd Be Able To Keep Your Doctor, And Now They're Saying You 'might' Be Able To. Today Obama Changed His Slogan From 'yes We Can' To 'perhaps We Could Try. Can't Promise Anything.'

President Obama Said He Is Going To Use The Gulf Disaster To Push A New Energy Bill Through Congress. How About Using The Gulf Disaster To Fix The Gulf Disaster?

A New Study Finds That Women Use Their Whole Brain When Listening And Men Only Use Half Of Their Brain. You See, Men Use The Other Half Of Their Brain To Come Up With Excuses. I Don't Think Women Use Their Whole Brain When Listening. I Think They Use Half Of It And The Other Half Is Used To Memorize What Men Are Saying So They Can Use It Against Them 10 Years Later!