I'm Bald, Blind And Pale. I'm Like

All I Want To Do Is Be A Good Dad, But I'm Pretty Bad At It.

Meredith Baxter Birney Gets Beaten By A Rod, In The Lifetime Original, Rod.

My Goal In Life Is To Be As Happy As A Studio Audience.

New York Has Made Me So Paranoid, Too. Whenever I Visit Another City, I Always Act Like I'm From There, So The Cab Driver Doesn't Rip Me Off. I'm Always Like, "yeah, It's Good To Be Back Home. Back Here Where I Grew Up. Yeah. Here In Tokyo. ... Uh, Driver, I Need To Go To My Old Stomping Grounds. That Would Be The Holiday Inn. And The Address Appears To Be The Pound Sign."

I Grew Up In Sheepshead Bay.