I'm Always Listening And Watching; My Ear

It Is A Challenge, With The Global Fame, To Try To Act Like I Put My Pants On One Leg At A Time, When In Fact I Have Pippa Middleton Help Me Put My Pants On Every Morning. She's My Lady-in-waiting As Well.

I Believe Fully In Making Fun Of Children. I Believe Very Strongly That You Should Never Make Fun Of An Embryo Or Your Ovaries. I Am A Big Believer On Breaking Those Rules. It's A Case-by-case Basis. But The Thing Is, There's So Many Ways To Make A Joke About Something That Is Sort Of Maybe Verboten Or Something.

I Prefer Big Oprah. I Know Oprah Wants To Be Skinny Oprah, But Her Head Is Too Gigantic To Fit On A Skinny Body. She Has To Accept That, Like Kirstie Alley, She Was Meant To Be... Ahm... Voluptuous!

There's One Thing That's Really Great About Waking Up Early, And It's Not Jogging Or Greeting The Day - It's Just That That's When They Make Doughnuts.

I Prefer Being Known For My Stand-up Because I Write It. I Love Being An Actor, And Saying Other People's Words Is Great. But Then, When I Do Stand-up, I Love Getting My Own Point Of View Out There.