So I Wonder If Anything Should Ever

I Prefer Big Oprah. I Know Oprah Wants To Be Skinny Oprah, But Her Head Is Too Gigantic To Fit On A Skinny Body. She Has To Accept That, Like Kirstie Alley, She Was Meant To Be... Ahm... Voluptuous!

I Am In Love With Larry David.

I'm Not Somebody Who No Matter Where I Go There Are Paparazzi Or Any Of That Nonsense. But I Have A Little Window Into That World And I Can Enter It And Dance Around. I Want To Be The Audience's Ticket Into The Party.

Most People Unfamiliar With The Men In A New Town Might Search For Love Until They Find It. I Picked Out Some Guy On My Second Day In La, Who Worked At The Local Bicycle Shop, And Handed My Virginity To Him. “you Can Fill A Tire? Sounds Good To Me. Let's Call It A Date.” Needless To Say He Wasn't Mr. Right.

I Have A No-apology Policy. No Apologies For Jokes. I Apologize In My Real Life All The Time. I Say Ridiculous Things, I Make Mistakes Constantly. But When I'm On Stage, I'm At A Microphone It's A Joke!