Jesus Forgives Sinners, Not Criminals.

Can Accidentally Eating Halal Food Make You Muslim? Yes, The Same Way Drinking A Cosmo Can Make You Gay.

There's A Wonderfully Cooperative Relationship Between Management And Labor Right Now. Much Like The Historic Partnership Between Oranges And A Juicer.

This Is America. I Don't Want A Tomato Picked By A Mexican. I Want It Picked By An American, Then Sliced By A Guatemalan And Served By A Venezuelan In A Spa Where A Chilean Gives Me A Brazilian.

There Once Was A Man Name Barack, Whose Re-election Came As A Shock. He Raised The Taxes I Pay, And Then Turned Marriage Gay. And Now He's Coming After Your Glock.

I'm A Junkie For Exhaustion, And I'm A Junkie For Setting Up My Expectations Too High And Then Trying To Meet Them.