I'm A Knitter. My Projects Are The

Since I Became A Knitting Humor Writer, I Seem To Be Understood A Little Better - At Least For The Purposes Of Social Discourse.

The Only Difference Between An Experienced Knitter And New Knitter Is That The Experienced Knitter Makes Bigger Mistakes Faster. Be Bold; There Are No Terrible Consequences In Knitting.

Everybody Tells Me That They Would Love To Knit, But They Don't Have Time. I Look At People's Lives And I Can See Opportunity And Time For Knitting All Over The Place. The Time Spent Riding The Bus Each Day? That's A Pair Of Socks Over A Month. Waiting In Line? Mittens. Watching Tv? Buckets Of Wasted Time That Could Be An Exquisite Lace Shawl.

Some Knitters Say That They Buy Yarn With No Project In Mind And Wait Patiently For The Yarn To "speak" To Them. This Reminds Me Of Michelangelo, Who Believed That Every Block Of Stone He Carved Had The Statue Waiting Inside And That All He Did Was Reveal It. I Think I've Had Yarn Speak To Me During The Knitting Process, And I've Definitely Spoken To It. Perhaps I'm Doing It Wrong, Or Maybe My Yarn And I Aren't On Such Good Terms, But It Really Seems To Me That All I Say Is "please" And All It Ever Says Is "no".

I Will Resist The Urge To Underestimate The Complexity Of Knitting.