I'll Die Young, But It's Like Kissing

My Only Challenge Was To Tell My Truth, Man... Figure Out What I Had To Say. These Days, It's Not Enough To Boost That Roomful Of Strangers. The Young Comic Spends All Their Time Trying To Sound Different From The Million Other Jokesters Grabbing For The Mic.

Once The Country Was Settled And Built, The Bosses Changed The Order From A Stack Of Educated Workers To A Barrel Of Minimum Wage Lottery Dreamers.

The Crooks Downtown Figured Out That Comedy Is Like A Hammer. It Can Put Up A Barn And It Can Knock Down A Wall. So They Bought It Outright And Marketed It As Comedy Central.

Certain Things Are Complete Superstition And Have No Validity At All In The Bible. Yeah. They're Just The Antithesis Of Everything That Is Correct Intellectually.

Darwin's Theory Is As Dead As He Is. Everyone Is Surviving, Fit Or Not. Years Ago, Any Kid Dumb Enough To Chase A Shiny Object Down A Well Was Dead, And Out Of The Gene Pool. Now They Got The Technology And Medicine To Save The Fool So He Can Breed More Open Mouth Breathers.