If You're A Fish And You Want

One Time I Stayed At A Haunted Motel. When I Checked Into My Room, There Was A Sheet On The Floor, And I Thought It Was A Ghost That Had Passed Out, So I Kicked It.

Magicians Disappear All The Time, But As Soon As A Regular Person Does It, Everyone Is All Scared. "tom's Gone!" "is He A Magician?" "no." "then Let's Print Up Some Flyers!"

I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I Always Lose Pens And I Got Sick Of Not Caring.

Spaghetti... I Can't Eat Spaghetti, There's Too Many Of Them. No Matter How Hungry I Am, 1,000 Of Something Is Too Many. I'll Have 1,000 Pieces Of Noodles.

I Used To Do Drugs. I Still Do Drugs. But I Used To, Too.