If You're A Fish And You Want

I've Always Wanted To Have A Suitcase Handcuffed To My Wrist. That's Not A Full Joke There! It's Filler.

When You Go To A Bar That Has A Black Light, Everybody Looks Cool. Except For Me, Because I Was Under The Impression That The Mustard Stain Came Out.

You Know When A Company Wants To Use Letters In Their Phone Number, But Often They'll Use Too Many Letters? "call 1-800-i-really-enjoy-brand-new-carpeting." Too Many Letters, Man, Must I Dial Them All? "hello? Hold On, Man, I'm Only On 'enjoy.' How Did You Know I Was Calling? You're Good, I Can See Why They Hired You!"

I Get The Reese's Candy Bar. You Look At That, There's An Apostrophe-s There. That Means The Candy Bar Is His. I Didn't Know That. Next Time You're Eating A Reese's Candy Bar, And A Guy Named Reese Comes By And Says, "gimme That", You Better Hand It Over.

I Once Saw A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. And It Was Way To Literal For Me.