I Think People Just Love To Win.

I Think In Doing Stand-up There Are No Rules And There's No Architecture.

I Don't Necessarily Self-identify As A Writer, 'cause It Implies A Certain Level Of Intelligence.

Hosting A Game Show Is So Bizarre And Uniquely Its Own Thing. Anytime I'm Hosting Something, I Try To Bring As Much Of Myself To It As I Can, But It's Always Going To Be Incomplete.

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy Do I Love Money. It Is A Character Flaw, No Doubt, One That Springs From A Panicked Childhood In Which I Always Felt As If Our Family Was Only A Couple Missed Child Support Payments From Being Tossed Onto The Pitiless Streets Of Our Suburban New Jersey Town.

I Don't Think I Was Awake For Much Of My Childhood. I Did A Lot Of Napping. This Might Have Been A Defensive Measure Against Encroaching Depression. Until About The Age Of Eleven Or Twelve, I Had Zero Interests Other Than Trying To Steal Gumballs From Supermarket Gumball Machines.