I Think People Just Love To Win.

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy Do I Love Money. It Is A Character Flaw, No Doubt, One That Springs From A Panicked Childhood In Which I Always Felt As If Our Family Was Only A Couple Missed Child Support Payments From Being Tossed Onto The Pitiless Streets Of Our Suburban New Jersey Town.

I Can Be A Snarky Asshole, Or I Can Be Sort Of Mentally Impaired. It's Very Hard For Me To Just Be Normal Human Being.

I'm Trying To Teach My Children Not To Cry. That's The Big Thing. No Crying. Because I Think We Can All Agree That Crying Is, For The Most Part, For Sissies. If My Team Loses, I'm Going To Cry. And I'm Going To Want My Kids To See Me Crying. Not Because I Think Sports Are So Important, But Because I Bet So Much Money On The Game That We'll Probably Lose The House If My Team Doesn't Win. That's Something To Cry About.

I Hope You Die.... P.s. If You Do Die, I'm Going To Go To The Funeral And Finger Your Corpse.

There Is No Word For Feeling Nostalgic About The Future, But That's What A Parent's Tears Often Are, A Nostalgia For Something That Has Not Yet Occurred. They Are The Pain Of Hope, The Helplessness Of Hope, And Finally, The Surrender To Hope.