If You Have A Secret, People Will

Apparently It's Cool To Watch The Daily Show.

I Always Fancied Myself More Of An Actor Than A Comedian Before I Realized That Only Assholes Make That Kind Of Distinction.

I Want To Manufacture A Feud.

Sometimes We Have To Actually Say, I Think You're Really Funny, But None Of Your Jokes Are Going To Make It On The Air. So Just Answer My Questions. Seriously.

I've Got Like A Week And A Half Left, All Bets Are Off.