If You Give People A Chance, They

Paddy Was In The Delivery Room When The Midwife Handed Him A Black Baby. "is This Yours?" She Asked "probably" Said Paddy "she Burns Everything Else"

Don't Work Out, Work In.

If You Don't Know How To Meditate At Least Try To Spend Some Time Every Day Just Sitting.

What Is It With Mcdonald's Staff Who Pretend They Don't Understand You Unless You Insert The 'mc' Before The Item You're Ordering? It Has To Be A Mcchicken Burger...a Chicken Burger Gets Blank Looks. Well, I'll Have A Mcstraw And Jam It Into Your Mceyes, You F**cking Mctosser!

As Soon As I Got Successful, The Scottish Press Started Picking On Me. It's Something They Reserve Just For Me.