If You Can't Say Something Nice About

You Know Why We're Good At It? Because We Get A Lot Of Practice. This Country Is Only 200 Years Old, And Already We've Had Ten Major Wars. We Average A Major War Every Twenty Years. So We're Good At It!

There Are Battered Husbands. Apparently This Happens When The Woman Is Real Big, The Man Is Very Small, And They Each Drink A Quart Of Whiskey A Day.

Hooray For Most Things!

Good News For Senior Citizens: Death Is Near!

Everything That You Know About Yourself Comes From Thinking Back, And I Think I Saw Religion As The First Big Betrayal Of Me.