If Someone's Lying, Are Their Pants Really

I Love Advertising Because I Love Lying. I Think Spending Your Life Trying To Dupe Innocent People Out Of Hard-won Earnings To Buy Useless, Low-quality, Misrepresented Items And Services Is An Excellent Use Of Your Energy.

I Do Not Know Why Anyone Would Host An Awards Show. No Matter How Unbelievably Well You Do At It, The Only Thing That Can Happen Is You Get Asked Again To Host An Awards Show.

Sometimes The Road Less Traveled Is Less Traveled For A Reason.

There's No Way That Moving In With Your Parents Is A Sign That Your Life Is On Track.

A Chef Who Doesn't Wash His Hands Is Like A Cop Who Steals. It's A Cry For Help.