If Poor People Want Food Stamps, They

(on Fox News).... It's Like Watching A Disney Movie About The News.

Mentioning Jesus In Your Speech: Small Government. Doing What Jesus Asked: Big Government.

A New Study Shows That Having A Severe Phobia Can Hasten Aging. But What If My Greatest Fear Is Aging?!?

They Say The Only People Who Tell The Truth Are Drunkards And Children. Guess Which One I Am.

President Bush Has Embarked On An Eight-day Tour Of The Continent. He Hopes This One Goes Better Than The Other Ones He's Made Recently. Obviously He's Not Doing That Well In North America [on Screen: '36% Approval'], His South American Trip Had A Few Bumps [on Screen: 'angry Mobs Of Torch-carrying Bumps'], Europe Seems To Think The President Doesn't Care What They Think, But Hey, Who Cares What They Think? They Could At Least Thank Him For What He's Done For Their Burning Effigy Industry.