If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door.

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door, But Only As Long As It's Not Visible From The Street.

I Don't Date Women My Age. There Aren't Any.

I Bought A Christmas Tree For Twenty Dollars. When I Came Home The Next Day, My Wife Was Wearing It In Her Hair.

Just Remember, Golf Is Flog Spelled Backwards.

If You Hire Relatives, You'll Have A Payroll That Won't Quit.