If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be

On A New York Subway You Get Fined For Spitting, But You Can Throw Up For Nothing.

You Call To A Dog And A Dog Will Break Its Neck To Get To You. Dogs Just Want To Please. Call To A Cat And Its Attitude Is, 'what's In It For Me?'

Instead Of Getting Married Again, I'm Going To Find A Woman I Don't Like And Give Her A House.

The Idiot Who Invented Instant Grits Also Thought Of Frozen Fried Chicken, And They Ought To Lock Him Up Before He Tries To Freeze-dry Collards.

"have You Done Your Homework?" My Mother Would Ask. "i'll Do It Later." "you Will Do It Now, Young Man. I Don't Want You Winding Up On The Third Shift At Flagg-utica." Flagg-utica Was A Local Textile Plant. Somehow, I Never Could Figure How Failing To Read Three Chapters In My Geography Book About The Various Sorts Of Vegetation To Be Found In A Tropical Rain Forest Had Anything To Do With Facing A Life As A Mill Hand. But With Enough Guilt And Fear As Catalysts, You Can Read Anything, Even Geography Books And Deuteronomy.