If I Have One Advantage, It's That

It's Fun When You're Driving, And People Wave At You, And You Wave Back. I Think You Either Like People Or You Don't. I Mean, I Don't Want To Put On Sunglasses. That's Why I'm In Show Business.

When You Do Late-night Tv, You Do Different Jokes In The Same Place Every Night. When You're On The Road As A Comedian, You Do The Same Jokes In A Different Place Every Night.

Last Week Convicted Enron Crook Ken Lay Died Of A Heart Attack. They Announced They Were Going To Cremate Him. Where He's Going, Why Bother?.

President Obama's Re-election Campaign Said That This Year They'll Knock On 150 Percent More Doors Than They Did In 2008. Well, Of Course They Will. They Have To. There's So Many Foreclosures It's Tough To Tell Where People Live.

I Guess We Didn't Even Officially Apologize. Jesse Jackson Called On The United States To Officially Apologize To The Chinese. Jesse Said, 'an Apology Is Not A Sign Of Weakness.' And As President Clinton Has Taught Us, An Apology Isn't Even A Sign You're Sorry.