If I Can Be Serious Now, And

John Kerry Went Duck Hunting And He's Doing That To Fulfill His Campaign Pledge To Hunt Down The Ducks And Kill Them Wherever They Are! Kerry Did Pretty Well; He Came Back With Four Ducks And Three Purple Hearts.

Osama Bin Laden Has Ten Look-alikes To Fool Us Americans. Ten Look-alikes, And He's Married To Five Of Them.

Every Day We Learn More And More About This Wacky Osama Bin Laden. He Lives In A Cave And At One Time He Was A Womanizer. But Now He Has Settled Down With His Five Wives And 26 Kids, So That's Now All Over. ... He Also Had A Drinking Problem At One Time. I Believe He Went Through 'jihab'

You Know, Barack Obama The Last Ten Days Was Traveling Overseas Campaigning In Europe And Everywhere. It Was So Successful, Campaigning Abroad, That He Is Actually Thinking About Campaigning Here In The United States.

What We Know About Osama Bin Laden Is This: He's Worth $300 Million, He Has Five Wives And Twenty-six Kids -- And He Hates Americans For Their "excessive" Lifestyle.