If God Wanted Us To Bend Over

I Told My Mother-in-law That My House Was Her House, And She Said, 'get The Hell Off My Property.'

I Could Never Be In A Cult. For Starters, They Never Accessorize Properly. David Koresh Had No Fashion Sense, Jim Jones Wore Leisure Suits, And I Don't Care How Charismatic Osama Bin Laden Was, An Ak-47 And An Insulin Drip Do Not Take The Place Of Drop Earrings Or A Well-placed Brooch.

I Felt A Comedy Ego Beginning To Grow, Which Gave Me The Courage To Begin Tentatively Looking Into Myself For Material.

I Was Dating A Transvestite, And My Mother Said, "marry Him, You'll Double Your Wardrobe."

When You Can Laugh At Yourself No One Can Ever Make A Fool Of You.