If Everyone Had A Dad Like Mine,

Photoshop Is Just Like Makeup. When It’s Done Well It Looks Great, And When It’s Overdone You Look Like A Crazy Asshole.

George Clooney Married Amal Alamuddin This Year. Amal Is A Human Rights Lawyer Who Worked On The Enron Case, Was An Advisor To Kofi Annan Regarding Syria, And Was Selected For A Three-person Commission Investigating Rules Of War Violation In The Gaza Strip. So Tonight, Her Husband Is Getting A Lifetime Achievement Award.

I Have To Say, I'm Really Not That Attractive. Until I Met My Husband, I Could Not Get A Date.

Whitney Houston’s Cover Of “i Will Always Love You” Was Constantly On My Fm Walkman Radio Around That Time. I Think That Made Me Cry Because I Associated It With Absolutely No One.

When I First Set Out To Ruin Snl, I Didn't Think Anyone Would Notice, But I Persevered Because - Like You Trying To Do A Nine-piece Jigsaw Puzzle - It Was A Labour Of Love.