I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A

I Have Always Felt Comedy And Tragedy Are Roommates. If You Look Up Comedy And Tragedy, You Will Find A Very Old Picture Of Two Masks. One Mask Is Tragedy. It Looks Like Its Crying. The Other Mask Is Comedy. It Looks Like Its Laughing. Nowadays, We Would Say, How Tasteless And Insensitive. A Comedy Mask Is Laughing At A Tragedy Mask.

Any Misfortune That Happens To Another Person Is Funny. If It Happens To Someone Else And Not Me, It's Very Funny.

I've Done A Lot Of Fox Shows Since Then - Married With Children, Living Single And A Whole Bunch Of Other Fox Things.

I Just Don't Accept Midgets As Human Beings. There's Only So Much Political Correctness I Can Accept.

Every Time You Open The Paper Now, There Seems To Be Another Celebrity Getting Arrest For Masturbation. First, It Was Peewee Herman And Then George Michael. If Masturbation's A Crime, I Should Be On Death Row.