I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A

I Just Split Up With My Girlfriend, But Like The Japanese Say, “they’ll Be Another One Floating By Any Minute Now.”

With The Internet, If You Erase Something It Just Means You Have To Spend Another Half-minute To Find It.

Comedy Historians Take Note: This Gottfried Character Doesn't Have The Best Eye For Detail - And, For A Jew, He Doesn't Have The Best Eye For Retail, Either.

If Someone Else Is Paying For It, Food Just Tastes A Lot Better.

You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.