I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A

One Thing I Can Take Credit For, Along With The Rest Of Show Business, Is When The Red Ribbons Were Out, We Cured Aids. Any Advancements That Came Towards Fighting Aids Were Not Done By Scientists Or Doctors - It Was People With Little Ribbons On Their Lapels.

I Sincerely Apologize To Anyone Who Was Offended By My Attempt At Humor Regarding The Tragedy In Japan. I Meant No Disrespect, And My Thoughts Are With The Victims And Their Families.

I'm One Of Those People That Picks Up The Remote Control And Just Keep Hitting Constantly, Even If I Like The Show I'm Watching.

I Wanted To Be A Brain Surgeon, But I Had A Bad Habit Of Dropping Things.

I'm Known For My Slightly Inappropriate Remarks.