I Would Like To Do My Own

When I Was In School, I Was Beaten Every 30 Minutes. It Never Did Me Any Harm Except For Some Psychological Mal-adjustments And Blurred Vision.

I Started To Make Harder Jokes Before Anyone Else Did. And The Producers Would Get Anxious. They'd Say, 'that's A Little Bit Hard-edged, Isn't It?' And I'd Say, 'let's Just Try It And See How The Audience Reacts. If They Don't Like It, Let's Cut It Out.' And The Audience Roared With Laughter, So I Learned You Could Do This Harder Humor And People Loved It.

Comedy Always Works Best When It Is Mean-spirited.

Aping Urbanity, Oozing With Vanity, Plump As A Manatee, Faking Humanity, Intellectual Inanity, Journalistic Calamity, Fox Noise Insanity, You're A Profanity, Hannity.

We Don't Know Where We Get Our Ideas From. What We Do Know Is That We Do Not Get Them From Our Laptops.