I Won't Take No For A Question.

Listening To Evanescence Makes Me Want To Break Up With A Girl In Real Time As A Giant Antique Hourglass Falls To The Floor In Slow Motion.

I Had One Job That Was Kind Of Cop-like. One Summer I Did Security At A Miniature Golf Course. Just Standing Out In The Sun All Day, Hey, Hey, Excuse Me Sir. Get Your Putter Out Of The Whale's Ass. Come On, This Is A Place Of Miniature Business. This Is Not A Playground Even Though It Looks Like A Playground.

My Favorite Sexual Position Is When The Girl Is Facing Mecca And I Am Fighting Off A Wolf.

My Fam Is Just A Regular Family. But All Of Them Have Great Senses Of Humor.

You Have To Have A Strong Sense Of Humor To Date Me, And Also Know That You're Probably Going To Be A Part Of The Routine Quite A Bit.