I Wish I Were Dumber So I

If You're Following The News, You Know That The Major Religions Differ In Their Interpretation Of The Holy Books. For Example, One Way To Interpret God's Will Is That You Should Love Your Neighbor. An Alternate Reading Of The Holy Books Might Lead You To Rig A Donkey Cart With Small Mortar Rockets And Aim It At A Hotel Full Of Infidels. In Summary, Po-tay-to, Poh-tah-to. Religions Are Very Flexible.

I Used To Be Stupid But I've Turned That Situation Around 360 Degrees.

Needing Someone Is Like Needing A Parachute. If They Are Not There The First Time You Need Them, Chances Are You Won't Be Needing Them Again.

I'm Predicting That We'll Finally Have A Computer Will Search My E-mail Automatically And Delete Every Message That Begins With 'thought You'd Be Interested,' And Then Give An Electrical Shock To The Sender To Remind Him Or Her To Stop Send That Kind Of Message.

The First Time You See Something That You Have Never Seen Before, You Almost Always Know Right Away If You Should Eat It Or Run Away From It.