I Went To The Doctors The Other

I Went To The Dentist. He Said "say Aaah." I Said "why?" He Said "my Dog's Died."

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

A Woman Tells Her Doctor, 'i've Got A Bad Back.' The Doctor Says, 'it's Old Age.' The Woman Says, 'i Want A Second Opinion.' The Doctor Says: 'okay - You're Ugly As Well.'

Two Peanuts Walk Into A Rather Rough Bar, Not Looking For Any Trouble. Unfortunately, One Was A Salted.

So I Was In Tesco's And I Saw This Man And Woman Wrapped In A Barcode. I Said "are You Two An Item?"