I Was Told To Stay Away From

When You Say You're A Padre, People Ask When Did You Become A Parent. When You Say You're A Cardinal, They Tell You To Work Hard Because The Next Step Is Pope. But When You Say You're A Dodger, Everybody Knows You're In The Major Leagues.

When We Win, I'm So Happy I Eat A Lot. When We Lose, I'm So Depressed, I Eat A Lot. When We're Rained Out, I'm So Disappointed I Eat A Lot.

My Theory Of Hitting Was Just To Watch The Ball As It Came In And Hit It.

I've Been Able To Dine With Presidents, With Leaders Of Corporations, Traveled For 14 Years With (financier And Philanthropist) Michael Milken, Who Has Taught Me So Much About Life. Hanging Around With Them, It's Nothing I Could Have Believed In Grade School. I Could Be With All Of Them? Milton Berle, Don Rickles, Dean Martin ... This Former Third-string Pitcher From The Norristown High Baseball Team And The Son Of An Italian Immigrant? I Really Am In Awe When I Think That Has Happened To Me. What A Life.

Everywhere I Go, I Feel Strange.