I Was Smart Enough To Go Through

I Was Dating A Transvestite, And My Mother Said, "marry Him, You'll Double Your Wardrobe."

I’ve Had So Much Plastic Surgery, When I Die They Will Donate My Body To Tupperware.

My Mother Was A Very Elegant Woman. When A Flying Saucer Landed On The Lawn, She Turned It Over To See If It Was Wedgwood.

I Don't Mind Aging, I Just Don't Want To Be A Day Older.

I Have No Boobs Whatsoever. On My Wedding Night My Husband Said, 'let Me Help You With Those Buttons' And I Told Him, 'i'm Completely Naked'.