I Was One Thing At One Time,

It's So Funny That People Think I Actually Ran For President. I Am Maybe The Most Un-political Person You're Ever Going To Meet. When I Put "elected" Out, It Was Definitely A Satire... "alice Cooper For President"... When Everybody Realized I Was Running Against Nixon, You Known, Even On A Joke Level, I Think I Got A Lot Of Write-in Votes.

There's A Little Spinal Tap In All Of Us.

My Fastest Time In High School Was A 4:29 Mile. I Think Cross-country Has Something To Do With My Longevity In My Business. When You're In An Eight-mile Race, You Never Give Up.

She's Cool In Bed, As She Ought To Be, Cuz Ethyl's Dead.

It's Not Like We Did Something Wrong. We Just Burned Down The Church While The Choir Within Sang Religious Songs.