I Was Going To Start Off Tonight

To Give You An Idea How Bad The American Economy Is, Mexico Is Now Calling For A Fence Along The Border. Stay On Your Side!

John Kerry Went Hunting Today. He Said He Killed A Goose. He Didn't Bring Teresa Along Because He Was A Little Rusty And He Was Afraid He Might Kill The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg.

The Hot Gossip In Washington Is That Condoleezza Rice Might Have A New Boyfriend. Secretary Of State Rice Is Being Linked To Canada's Foreign Minister, Peter Mackay. It's Gotta Be Awkward Dating A Fellow Diplomat. Like Today, Mackay Had To Promise Condi He Would Get Permission From The U.n. Before He Invaded Her.

I'm Not A Person Who Carries My Emotions On My Sleeve.

Bin Laden Was Once Targeted By President Clinton. President Clinton Wanted To Kill Him But Couldn't Get Him. Of Course Not, We All Know What Kind Of Aim Clinton Has.