I Used To Sell Furniture For A

I Took The Wife's Family Out For Tea Biscuits. They Weren't Too Happy About Having To Give Blood Though.

My Mother-in-law Has So Many Wrinkles, When She Smiles She Looks Like A Venetian Blind.

I Know My Name Will Always Be Linked With Women.

I'm Not Saying My Mother Didn't Like Me, But She Kept Looking For Loopholes In My Birth Certificate.

I'm The Most Unromantic Lump Of Northern Suet. Yes, A Woman Did Accost Me Once In South Shields, But She Had A Face Like Red Rum.