I Tried Real Hard To Play Golf,

Between New York And La, There's 200 Million People That Aren't Hip, And They Don't Want To Be Hip.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Satellite Dish Payment Delays Buying School Clothes For The Kids.

If Your Idea Of A 7 Course Meal Is A Bucket Of Kfc And A Sixpack, You Might Be A Redneck.

Thank God I'm At That Point In My Career Where I Don't Have To Take Stuff That I Don't Really Want To Do.

Whatever Cleaning Goes On On The Planet, Women Do 99% Of It. But See, Women Are Not As Proud Of Their 99% As Men Are Of Our One! We Clean Something Up, We're Gonna Talk About It All Year Long. It Might Be On The News, You Don't Know. A Woman Could Be Out Re-paving The Driveway. Men Actually Have Enough Gall To Run Out On The Porch And Go "hey Baby? Man, It's Hot As Hell Out Here, Ain't It! Look, Don't Worry About Emptyin' That Ashtray In The Den, I Done Got It, All Right? Did It For You, Sweet Pea. I'm Gonna Go Take A Nap Now, All Right?"