I Tried Body Surfing Once, But How

My Sister Just Had A Baby. We Can Have Company Over. She'll Be In Front Of Everyone With Her Um... Breast... Out Feeding It. You Know... Cereal Or Whatever.

When I Was A Kid My Parents Used To Tell Me, "emo, Don't Go Near The Cellar Door!" One Day When They Were Away, I Went Up To The Cellar Door. And I Pushed It And Walked Through And Saw Strange, Wonderful Things, Things I Had Never Seen Before, Like... Trees. Grass. Flowers. The Sun... That Was Nice... The Sun.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

Race Is Still Somewhat Of A Taboo In Comedy. But If You're A Minority, Then You Can Make Fun Of Your Own Minority. And That's A Nice Service That Many Of Them Provide.

You Know, A Lot Of Girls Go Out With Me Just To Further Their Careers...damn Anthropologists.