I Tried Body Surfing Once, But How

I Pray A Simple Prayer Every Morning. It's An Ecumenical Prayer. Whether You're Catholic Or Jewish Or Muslim Or Hindu, I Think It Speaks To The Heart Of Every Faith. It Goes “lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.”

Girls Throw Their Panties On The Stage, But Rarely If Ever Do They Fit.

I've Been At Stand-up 26 Years Now: After A While, You Get As Jaded As The Proverbial Gynecologist Who No Longer Enjoys Drugging And Violating His Patients.

One Man's Pet-stained Carpet Is Another Man's Twister Game.

Pentiums Melt In Your Pc, Not In Your Hand.