I Love Florida. I Love The Beach.

I Started Doing Stand-up At The Age Of 20. This Was Back In 1976, Around The Time (coincidence?) That The First Comedy Clubs Were Starting. The Young Comedians Of Today Gasp When I Tell Them How Many Shows I Did That First Year: 500. Five Nights A Week.

My Classmates Would Copulate With Anything That Moved, But I Never Saw Any Reason To Limit Myself.

The Irs Sent Back My Tax Return Saying I Owed $800. I Said If You'll Notice, I Sent A Paper Clip With My Return. Given What You've Been Paying For Things Lately, That Should More Than Make Up The Difference.

Santa Fe Is Fun To Visit, But Property There Will Cost You An Arm And A Dillo.

I Think Of My Body As A Temple. Or At Least A Relatively Well-managed Presbyterian Youth Center.