I Think Commercialism Helps Christmas And I

A New Study Says By 2030 Household Robots Will Dominate Every Phase Of Our Lives. The Study Says The No. 1 Field For Robot Growth Is Medicine. That Makes Sense. Robots Already Perform Well In Surgery. That Is, Until There Is A Power Outage. Then It's Just A Coat Rack Leaning Over You As You Bleed To Death.

Don't Protest Outside Of A Rich Man's House In The Daytime, You'll Just Scare The Maid, And That's Arnold Schwarzenegger's Job.

President Obama Announced His Re-election Campaign, Though It’s Not Really A Surprise. He Did All The Things That Make It Official: He Filed The Paperwork, Redesigned His Website, And Printed Another Fake Birth Certificate.

The Only Thing That I Would Say To Anyone Doing Late Night Shows Is - It Took Me A Couple Years Then - But When You Leave The Studio, It's Over. That's What You Really Have To Do. After A Long Time, I Would Be Like, "maybe I Shouldn't Have Said This," Or "maybe I Shouldn't Have Shown This." But Eventually, I Got To, "ah, F - K It." That's What It Was That Night, Tomorrow's The Next Night.

I Don't Know How Much Of A Natural Human I Am. Y'know, The Truth Is, I Never Set Out To Do That, And I Don't Think Of Myself Like That. I Don't Think Like That. It's Not Really About Promotion - I Don't Really Understand The Idea Of Promotion, Talking To A Camera For More Money. That's Just Money. And I Like Money, Don't Get Me Wrong. I Don't Know. I Don't Get It. I Don't Understand It As Much As You Don't Understand Me, I Think.