Canada Is Not The Party. Its The

Sober Alkies Are Often Asked: "when Did You Hit Rock Bottom?" But A More Informed Question Might Be: "how Many Times Did You Hit Rock Bottom?

I'm Careful With Money.

These Days, Teachers Have It Rough. Kids Can Be Hyperactive, Disobedient, And Obnoxious. It Must Feel Like Being Locked In A Room Of Drunk Midgets.

If I Have A Near-beer, I’m Near Beer. And If I’m Near Beer, I’m Close To Tequila. And If I’m Close To Tequila, I’m Adjacent To Cocaine.

People Sometimes Say To Me: "craig, Get Out Of My Garden."