I Talk Kinda Slow, Especially For The

No One Goes Into Standup To Make Money. The Frustration And Rejection Are Just Too Much.

The Idea Of Being A Practicing Catholic, It's - For Me, It's Like - I Need A Lot Of Practice, You Know What I Mean?

For Me, Stand-up Comedy Is A Conversation Between Me And The Audience. I Have To Keep Them Listening. When I'm Making Jokes About Cake For Twenty Minutes, I Have To Make Sure My Audience Is Interested And Following Where I'm Going.

Weight Watchers Says Nothing Tastes Better Than Thin Feels. I Can Think Of A Thousand Things That Taste Better Than Thin Feels.

I Smoke Crack. I Get All My Dancers Together And We Do A Prayer.