I Smoke Cigars Because At My Age

With The Collapse Of Vaudeville New Talent Has No Place To Stink.

A Married Couple That Plays Cards Together Is Just A Fight That Hasn't Started Yet.

In Those Days The Best Painkiller Was Ice; It Wasn't Addictive And It Was Particularly Effective If You Poured Some Whiskey Over It.

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old.

Take Care Not To Wear Stripes That Are Out Of Sync With Your Wrinkles.