I See A Lot Of Nice Hotels,

My Girlfriend Knows That If I'm Acting Weird At Home To Go To One Of My Shows To See What's On My Mind.

I'm A Comedian Who Happens To Be Latino. What's The Difference? The Difference Is, My Special Will Air On Comedy Central, Not Telemundo.

I'm Not Fat. It's Just My Awesomeness Swelling Up Inside Of Me.

Anyone Who's Seen My Specials Knows I Don't Put Out The Same Stuff Twice.

I Don't Wanna Just Be Remembered For The Funniest Guy In My Neighborhood.