I Really Feel Like It's A Travesty

I Really Never Had Any Ambitions To Be A Standup Comic. I Was Talked Into It By Guys That I Used To Work Out With.

I Love Coming To D.c. I Think It's A Very Unusual City. It's So Fascinating That It's This Weird Place That Everything Thinks Of As The Capital Of The Country, There Is So Much International Business, Political Stuff That Is Connected To That Part Of The Country That It Has A Very Charred Atmosphere.

You're Sort Of Programmed A Certain Way Because Of Your Environment. That's All You Know. But We Don't Have That Anymore Because Of The Internet. Because Of The Internet We're All Communicating With Each Other All Across The Board, So You're Getting Information From People All Around The World, Hitting A Much More Diverse Slice Of Culture.

For Many People The Reason Why They're Idiots Is Not Necessarily That Their Brain Doesn't Work Well, It's That They Got In A Terrible Pattern.

I Talk So Much About Sex That Girls Just Want To Meet Me.