Every Single Religion That Has Ever Been

I Don't Really Like Actors. Actors Are Like Terrible Comedians With No Punch Lines. It's All About Them. They Talk About Themselves All The Time. They Bore The Sh - T Out Of You.

My Act Is So Completely And Totally Uncensored That The Only Way I Could Really Pull It Off Is If I Treat The Audience Like They're My Best Friends.

I Never In My Wildest Imagination Dreamed That I Would Somehow Become A Sports Commentator.

I'm A Nightclub Comic. That's What I Do. I Work In The Clubs Uncensored Because My Mind Is Uncensored, And Those Are The Thoughts That I Have. I Do The Kind Of Comedy That I Would Enjoy Seeing.

The Number One Reason Why Marijuana Is Illegal Is Because The Pharma Cartel Does Not Want You To Grow Your Own Medicine. The Declaration Of Independence Was Written On Hemp Paper. The First Car Ever Made Ran On Hemp Oil. Hemp Seeds Are Also The Healthiest Food On The Planet With The Highest Protein Content Out Of Any Plant.