I Only Direct In Self-defense.

There's No Such Thing As Too Far. If It Works It's Funny, If It Doesn't Work It's Too Far, It's Stupid. Really There's No Such Thing As "too Far." You're Joining The Politically Correct When You Use Words Like "too Far." You Don't Want To Join The Army Of Politically Correct.

My Job Is To Go Out And Entertain The Most People Possible.

I Had Low Blood Sugar, A Chemical Imbalance, Plus The Normal Nervous Breakdown Everyone Goes Through From Adolescence To Adulthood.

I Make People Laugh For A Living. I Believe I Can Say Objectively That What I Do I Do As Well As Anybody. Just Say I'm One Of The Best Broken Field Runners That Ever Lived. For 35 Years I Was A Cult Hero, An Underground Funny.

I Love [nikolai] Gogol's Great Eye For Idiot Behavior. Gogol Said That Life Is So Tragic, So Stupendously Sad That We'd Better Laugh A Lot And Enjoy Ourselves. You Either Get A Sense Of Humor Going Or You Go Under.