I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old. When I Was 65, I Had Cupid's Eczema. I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

I Smoke Ten To Fifteen Cigars A Day. At My Age I Have To Hold On To Something.

There Will Always Be A Battle Between The Sexes Because Men And Women Want Different Things. Men Want Women And Women Want Men.

I Love To Sing, And I Love To Drink Scotch. Most People Would Rather Hear Me Drink Scotch.

Lots Of People Have Asked Me What Gracie And I Did To Make Our Marriage Work. It's Simple - We Don't Do Anything. I Think The Trouble With A Lot Of People Is That They Work Too Hard At Staying Married. They Make A Business Out Of It. When You Work Too Hard At A Business You Get Tired; And When You Get Tired You Get Grouchy; And When You Get Grouchy You Start Fighting; And When You Start Fighting You're Out Of Business.