I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me

I'd Rather Be A Flop At Show Business Than To Be A Success At Something I Didn't Like.

If It's A Good Script I'll Do It. And If It's A Bad Script, And They Pay Me Enough, I'll Do It.

Age To Me Means Nothing. I Can't Get Old; I'm Working. I Was Old When I Was Twenty-one And Out Of Work. As Long As You're Working, You Stay Young. When I'm In Front Of An Audience, All That Love And Vitality Sweeps Over Me And I Forget My Age.

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.

Be Sure To Wear A Good Cologne, A Nice Aftershave Lotion, And A Strong Underarm Deodorant. And It Might Be A Good Idea To Wear Some Clothes, Too.