I May Be Middle Class, But I'm

I Go Around The Country And Do A Simple Gag Like, 'the Property Ladder Is Now A Snake' And Get A Real Laugh.

After A Gig I Always Head Back To The Hotel, Remembering Granny's Words Of Wisdom. I Cancel The Late-night Pizza And Watch The Jonathan Ross Show Instead.

I'm Obsessed With Tv. How Wrong Our Parents Were When They Said We Should Only Watch An Hour A Day. Stop Wasting Your Time Reading Books.

In Pizza Express You Can Get Garlic Bread With Cheese And Tomato. Now Correct Me If I'm Wrong, But That's A Pizza.

I Don't Think It's Any Coincidence That I Lost My Religious Faith And 'manned Up' In The Same Year. I Was Described Somewhere As A Lapsed Catholic, Which Is Funny Because I'm Not Going Back! I Want To Achieve Things Rather Than Live Life In An Animalistic Way.