I Married A Saint - Well, A

I Don't Want To Be A Spokesman For Family Values, But That's The Way My Standup Is Perceived.

If You Are Someone, You Know, With Fame, Whatever Amount, It's Good To Be Married To Someone Who's Not Impressed With That At All.

That's The One Thing I Have Over Any Twenty-one-year-old: A Proud History Of Accumulated Neuroses. That's The Game In Which I'm Da Man.

I Did 15 Shows A Week When I Lived In New York. I Did Five Shows On A Friday And Seven Shows On A Saturday. It Was Everything I Did And It Was My Sole Source Of Income.

Sex After One Child Shows Down. After Twins... Ooh... I'll Tell You What It Is For Us. I'll Share It With You. Every Three Months. We Don't Plan It That Way. That's Just How It Works Out. It's The Weirdest Thing. You Know What I Do? Every Time I Have Sex, The Next Day I Pay My Estimated Tax. My Quarterlies Are Due. If It's Oral Sex, I Renew My Driver's License.