I’m Never Without A Bandage.

Anyone That Says Looks Don't Count Is Lying.

If You Don't Want Gays In The Military, Make The Uniforms Ugly.

I Was Born In 1962, And The Room Next To Me Was 1963.

God Always Comes Up With A Third Act Twist -- And We Won't Know Until We Die Whether The Play Was A Comedy Or A Tragedy.

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.