I’m Never Without A Bandage.

Anger Is A Symptom, A Way Of Cloaking And Expressing Feelings Too Awful To Experience Directly - Hurt, Bitterness, Grief And, Most Of All, Fear.

A Female Salmon Lays Three Thousand Eggs A Year - And Has Yet To Receive A Mother's Day Card From One Of Them.

And Since We're All Adults Here, Let's Be Brutally Honest-most Babies Are Not Actually Attractive. In Fact, They're Weird And Freakish Looking. A Large Percentage Of Them Are Squinty-eyed And Bald And Their Faces Are All Mushed Toegther, Kind Of Like Renee Zellweger Pushed Up Against A Glass Window.

A Woman Went To A Plastic Surgeon And Asked Him To Make Her Like Bo Derek. He Gave Her A Lobotomy.

I Wish I Could Tell You It Gets Better. It Doesn't Get Better. You Get Better.