I Loved Moustaches. I Used To Draw

People Could Live Very Happily Without The Turner Prize, But They Could Not Live Without Real Communication And Emotion.

Being A Fan Of Authentic Dada, I Find Today's Art - What I Call 'bankers' Dada' - Mind-numbingly Dull. The Most Challenging Work I've Seen Of Late Is By The British Art Resistance. Their Document, 'a Call For Heroes In An Age Of Cowards', Is Apt In These Days Of Witless Chancers.

We Believe In A Society In Delusion, And If You're Awake And Not Deluded People Tell You You're Mad. That's Why I'm A Freak And They're Not. But I'm Actually Not.

I Did Not Like Prizes At School. I Didn't Like Tests Or Exams, Or The 11+, Or O-levels. Later I Hated B.a.s And M.a.s. The Reason I Hated Them Is That I Don't Like Being Tested, Failed Or Falsely Praised By Anyone.

A Moustache To A Man Is The Same As A Fringe Is To A Woman. When You've Got It, You Want To Grow It Out; When You've Grown It Out, You Want To Cut It.