I Love Playing The Macho Guy Who

I Think My New Iphone 5s Is Broken. I Pressed The Home Button And I'm Still At Work

I Hate When New Parents Ask Who The Baby Looks Like. It Was Born 15 Minutes Ago, It Looks Like A Potato

I Remember Going With My Mom To A Random Garage Sale As A Kid And Thinking What A Cool Treasure Hunt That Whole World Was. Only To Transition As An Adult To Think, 'what A Gross Place That Really Is.'

Before You Marry A Person, You Should First Make Them Use A Computer With Slow Internet To See Who They Really Are.

I Would Think Beer And Football Go Hand In Hand.