I Love People Who Have Such Passion

If You Wait Too Long In Vegas, You End Up With A Chicken Finger In Your Underwear.

I’ll Always Be Doing Stand-up As Long As People Are Still Interested In Seeing Me.

I Don't Mean To Be A Racist But If You're Going To Get Raped By A Japanese Guy, It's Not Going To Hurt At All.

There's Tons Of Information On The Internet, So If You Type In Cancer, They'll Give You 15, 000 Different Options To Get Involved With Cancer. It's Very Easy To Get Involved If You Want To Get Involved, Especially To Volunteer Your Time.

People Ask Me Why I'm So Hard On Men. It's Because They've Gotten A Really Easy Ride. And It's Not That I Think Women Should Take Over The World. But I Do Think It Should Be 50/50.