I Love Being In A Relationship, But

I Call Los Angeles The City Of Alternatives. If You Don't Like Mountains, We Got The Ocean. If You Don't Like Knott's Berry Farm, We've Got Disneyland. If You Don't Like Basketball, We've Got The Clippers.

If God Wanted Us High, He Would Have Given Us Wings.

I Knew Going In That Being A Single Parent Would Be One Of The Toughest Jobs I'd Ever Have. I'd Been A Talk-show Host, Actor, Comic, And On And On, But This Gig Was Going To Be My Defining Moment.

The Bottom Line Is I've Never Had Anybody Bark At Me In A Mall With Malicious Intent. Everybody Who Barks At The Kid From Cleveland Is To Let Him Know, "i Know Who You Are." It's Always A Positive Thing.

You Go Out With A Girl You Used To Date, She Looks So Damn Good, And Then At A Certain Point You Say, Boy, Now I Remember. I Know Why I Left!