I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are

I Wear A Necklace, Cause I Wanna Know When I'm Upside Down.

I Was At A Restaurant, And I Ordered A Chicken Sandwich, But I Don't Think The Waitress Understood Me. She Asked Me, "how Would You Like Your Eggs?" I Thought I Would Answer Her Anyway And Said, "incubated! And Then Raised, Plucked, Beheaded, Cut Up, Put Onto A Grill, And Then Put Onto A Bun. Damn! I Don't Have That Much Time! Scrambled!"

P.s. - This Is What Part Of The Alphabet Would Look Like If Q And R Were Eliminated.

Sometimes I Fall Asleep At Night With My Clothes On. I'm Going To Have All My Clothes Made Out Of Blankets.

One Time I Was Forced To Go To The Doctors Because Of A Sports Accident. Herpes.